-Tina

ec-centricity:

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Please reblog this, it might end up helping someone in need.

My story of cutting, bullying, abuse, depression, and suicide.

People look at me now and are shocked that I have dealt with such severe issues such as cutting and suicide. I kept it a secret for about 4 years. It was my secret. No one know the pain that I was dealing with. I’d go to school everyday and act happy and on top of the world. However, inside I was crumbling.

My father passed away when I was four years old. He committed suicide. My mom was left to raise three kids basically by herself. She became involved with another man shortly after my father passed but he was nothing near a father figure.

He was very verbally abusive. He drank. He did drugs. He stole from us. But when I was a kid, I didn’t really know that at the time. However, when I was about 12 years old, things began to turn for the worst. There was constant fights at my house between my mom and him. He pushed my mom around. I was so afraid.

At the same time this was happening, I was constantly being picked on at school. The popular kids called me ugly, they made fun of my clothes, I had glasses and braces so they made fun of me for that. On the bus, I was known as “the ugly girl.” I was ashamed and embarrassed. So at twelve years old, I began cutting myself. It was my outlet. It was pain that I could control. It was physical pain to dull the emotional pain. And sometimes, I felt like I deserved it for not being good enough.

My cutting didn’t become bad until I was about 15. After losing my best friend to suicide, I felt lost and hopeless. I began cutting everyday. Sometimes even 3-5 times a day. I would cut so much that I would run out of room on the place that I did it and had to move elsewhere.

My family found out when I was almost 16 and sent me to get help. At that point, I didn’t want to get help. I know this may sound crazy but I liked cutting. It was the only way of coping I knew. I stopped cutting so much but I would still do it. This time, in places no one could see.

My downward spiral worsened when one of my friends died suddenly of a heart defect. In November 2004, I attempted suicide. I think the lowest point for me was waking up in the hospital knowing that I would have to face everybody and that I had failed. I spent 45 days in a treatment center. It took me a really long time to let them help me. But, I am forever grateful for them.

The abuse at my house peaked when I was 19. But finally after years of abuse, my mom left him and we had a new start. Now, I’m 23 and I am healthy and happy.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with any of these issues, please speak up. Help is out there. You are not alone. You can get help and you can recover. No one should have to spend their life suffering. I got help. So can you.

-Erin

Somedays you’ll feel like you’re on top of the world. Somedays you’ll feel like you’re at your lowest. Everyone has their ups and downs. They come without warning and sometimes they hit you so hard you don’t know what to do to get back up. This is what I say There’s always that one friend lending out a hand to you. They’re always there even when you don’t see it. Never think no one is there for you. You may think no one is there for you because you build up a wall. Blocking people from what you really feel. The outcome they don’t really know how you feel. But when you find the right friend to open up to how you’re feeling put that wall down and talk to them one on one. Trust me. They will be there. They will listen to you. They will hold your hand in the process of you healing. 

advice for the day. Don’t put up walls to the people you love. It won’t help you. It’ll only push them away. Keep those walls down and talk to someone. There’s always someone out there ready to help you.

-Tina

<3 Tina [:

So us members just wanted to share a little bit about ourselves so that perhaps it makes you feel a bit more comfortable coming to us for advice.

My name is Christina. 16 years old. A junior in high school. I’m still learning about life and I still yet know what my future holds for myself. The one thing that I do not mind at all doing is lend out a helping hand.

A message I would like to share is, the grass is always greener on the other side. Whatever you may be going through, no matter how drastic it is, there’s always going to be someone who is willing to help out. Never think that no one cares about you. Or loves you. This blog is ran by people who truly care about your things. And all of us are going to lend out that helping hand. Whether all you need is a person to vent to, or a simple question to be answered. More than enough days have I felt like no one in the world cared about me. That I wanted to just give up and to exclude myself from this world. But thanks to people like the ones helping run this blog, I learned that this life that we live shouldn’t be spent moping. And that I would always know that there’ll be someone to help me out.
And for you, I’ll be one of those people to help you out.

If you ever need to talk, I’m here for you. You can contact me through This blog or the blog on the side Bar. Please, don’t be afraid to speak up. Your story is important. You are important. You are worth life! So let us help you. 

<3

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